Shinatty
by Takahashi Nana
Summary: Betcha 100% of the China fangirls know Shinatty and 99% wants to be him! Well it ain't that easy, being the infamous companion of a 5000 year old country. Slightly sexual themes.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok so I felt like writing something for Shinatty because he gets too little love… I do not own hetalia or the characters! Warning slightly sexual themes and a bit of… OOC I guess?**

Hi I am Shiyi Song, also known as Shinatty-Chan, the name my… boss (I guess) gave to me. I know how you readers feel about me. "Oh my god I wish I was him!" "He is so lucky" "Why does he get to be with someone as cute as China?" China, that's the name you people know my boss by. His real name is Yao Wang, and, as I later learned, is the physical representation of China. He lives with his siblings Taiwan, Japan, Korea, Hong Kong and Macau. When I asked how old he was, he gave me the STUPIDEST grin and answered: "I am 5000 years old, aru!"

Well my 5000-year-old boss behaves less mature than a ten-year-old! Living with him is… not fun at all. How? Allow me to tell you of a story.

It was a dark and stormy night and I was sitting in an oversized tutu with an oversized hello-kitty-gone mad headpiece watching "dora the explorer" (the best show for a manly man to watch, I AM DEAD SERIOUS! IT IS VERY EDUCATIONAL AND MASCULINE!). Just when the Mexican girl with a bob-cut is about to call out her friend "map" for the second time, scattered knocking emanated from the door. As a tradition in the house since god-knows-when, I am always the one to open the door.

So I went to the door and saw what I expected to see. My 5000-year old boss looking drunk. On second thought, scratch that. He _is_ drunk. When Yao gets drunk, he gets _really_ drunk. And he always lashes his emotions on me, for I am always the first person to open the door. This time, seeing Yao all red-faced and panting with his hazel eyes half-lidded and unfocused, my first reaction is… to run for my life. Now, I know you guys think Yao is "an innocent little uke", but heck, he is vicious when he wants to be.

I was about to run when Yao hugged me from behind, muttering "Shi…na..tty…chan…" and refusing to let go. I tried to peel his arms off of me, but he refused to let go and continued muttering "I…am…lone…ly…"

Oh shit's about to come down.

"Sorry…but go talk to your brothers instead, they'll help you more than I can, heh?" I tried to peel myself away again but this time Yao climbed to my torso and pinned me down to the ground with a victory smirk on his face. NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU FANGIRLS ARE THINKING! "OMG Shinatty is so lucky!" "I want to be raped by China!" WELL YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THIS SULLIES A MAN'S PRIDE! Being pinned down to the ground by someone that looks meeker that a 14 year old girl! It is worse than dressing up in a tutu with a hello kitty outfit on!

"Shinatty, aru." Yao hissed, lowering his body onto mine, "Why…do…you…run…away…from…me? Aru."

Well if you're in my position you would too.

Yao rubbed his head against my neck and started biting it while ripping my tutu off. AIYA I'M GETTING RAPED!...again. I tried freeing myself from Yao again, and I failed. Yao pinned my hands above me and demanded in my ear: "Why you no become one with mother China?"

Yeah, "mother China" he said that.

You people all think China got it from Russia (who is really creepy), but the truth is… the opposite. China invented it and Russia began using it because he thinks it's cool and now…it became out of control.

To proceed with the situation… Well I assume you fangirls don't want to read about a 40 something year old man being raped by a 5000 year old country, so… _zai jian_!

**Yeah I might update this once in a while when I have the time, but not as a serious storyline, just random crack with the Asian family. I will be taking suggestions and thank you for reading my humble fanfiction! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey I updated because I had an idea. I hope Japanese people don't get offended by this because I'm really mean to Japan. It was not meant to be offensive, only to be funny since... Japanese people invented the word Yaoi and...**  
Once again, Hi, I am Shinatty, the most hated "animal" in the world.  
I am not only hated by you fangirls, I am also hated by my... um... I guess my roommates? By "roommates", I mean "my boss's so called younger brothers and sisters", but I didn't say it that way because why? I am too fucking cool for that! :) Well back to the topic, why am I hated? Because everyone in this family is slightly (highly?) incestuous and every one wants to screw China except for Macau, he's my favorite, the only one that I didn't catch realizing...um... weird fantasies.  
You want an example? Sure, I'll give you one:  
On Yao's birthday, his brother, Hanaa or "Mongolia" brought over some fresh goat milk as a present. We each got a cup of goat milk (which tasted more like goat "piss" than "milk") and everything was alright... until Kiku finished his milk.  
Oh Kiku, in case you didn't know, that's the physical representation of Japan. The general impression for him is shy and humble, but HECK you don't know how wrong you are! That kid (feels weird calling Kiku that when he is easily 2000 years my senior) is the physical representation of a WHOREHOUSE! He literally has sex with AT LEAST 7 different people A WEEK, including sometimes his siblings... How do I know, well whose room do you think is right above mine? Give you a hint: it begins with a K.  
Moving on! So Kiku finished his milk. He moved to straddle Yao's lap, and begged (seductively): "Yao _nii-chan_, I want _your_ milk..." I didn't get what the "milk" is until Kiku moved down and muzzled Yao's inner thighs. Scarred for life? Nah, not after being raped by my boss...  
"Ki...Kiku!" hissed Yao (at first) harshly, "You are not supposed to do this to your mother (pun intended) in public!"  
"But...I'm so _thirsty, onii-chan..."_ Begged, or rather moaned Kiku. "I _really_ want your milk..."  
You can imagine the others facial expression when seeing this. This awkward situation lasted for a precious minute before Korea came over. You fangirls have a pretty good opinion about Korea, so I don't have to explain anything, right? Just for a recap, he claims random body parts and is obsessed with Kimichi. He came over and started rubbing Yao's groin, IN PUBLIC! To make things worse he stated calmly: "I will be the one to drink his milk. In fact, I'll suck it all dry."  
"You can _lick _it all dry, but I'll make him produce more." Smirked Kiku.  
"You two, don't do this in public!" scolded Yao, but you can see his face getting redder and his legs slowly splitting itself apart. Xiang (Hong Kong) and Wan (Taiwan) came over to join in "the fun, leaving Hanaa alone with Aomen (Macau).  
"Gege likes girls better, right?" Wan innocently smiled because adding "so I should be the one to suck him dry..."  
"No, I'll do it because I have the best technique" interrupted Xiang with a stoic expression, "I'll first lick the tip then move to the bottom before engulfing it entirely...(Rated 18 stuff)"  
While Xiang is blabbing about his "technique", I found Korea unzipping Yao's pants.  
I couldn't take it anymore! I picked Yao's cup up and yelled: "FOR FUCK'S SAKE ITS JUST MILK!" as for the milk, it is now living with the bamboo plant.  
To make sure no one is going to stain my eyes again, I sat on Yao's lap (like he always forces me to do) and crossed my arm with a grim expression.  
_ After this Shinatty officially became the most hated person in the Asian family_.  
**So, how was it? This won't be updated regularly, just something for my and your fun. About my other story, I'm really trying to squeeze in the time but I'm in serious writer's block... Thats why I wrote this to relax myself. Well thank you for reading my humble fanfiction.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ugh, too stressed so I wrote this to relax myself. Hope you enjoy! I introduce Shinatty's daughter in this because... I felt like it. Anyhoo please enjoy! This was actually a reply for one of my reviews, so hope you (whoever you are) enjoy!**

Hi, I am Shinatty. A kind fangirl asked me why I don't pay people to do the work for me. The answer is... I really can't... You see, in order to be Shinatty, you have to meet... certain requirements. Such as:

**1st**, you have to be fat, or at least chubby. HE prefers overweight over fit man because he feels that they are more "huggable", which is... true, I guess. (To all ROchu fangirls, why do you think he chose russia anyway? ITS NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE BOTH MOTHERS!) Not that gaining 20 pounds in a week is difficult, with Yao's food. (I swear, that is the only reason I'm staying! His food is the very work of god, FUCKING SERIOUS!) But it does take some skill... I mean, with 4 countries looking to kill you every second, you need some decent escaping skills. Which leads me to my second point-

**2nd**, you have to deal with his freaking terrifying siblings! With China's food, have you ever wondered why they don't get fat? Well I'll tell you the reason, BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL SPENDING THEIR ENERGY FULFILLING WEIRD FANTASIES! Once I went to the laundry room to find white stains on Yao's underwear that I'm pretty sure wasn't there before (about how I know this... please don't remind me...) and after inspecting it for a while, I found out... that it was "milk"... Yeah. Plus, not everyone can deal with them! I know you think they are cute and sweet, but heck... they are vicious. Heck, I almost got raped by Korea once! When I finally got out of the situation, I found Japan in front of me. Before I knew it, he pushed me to the ground and started #$%ing me. In fact, this happened on my first day of the job...

**3rd**, there is no use escaping Yao. I don't know how but he knows every crook about me that I didn't even know myself. For example, he can tell my height down to the millimeter and my pant size down to 0.001 of a number. He can know whether I slept with him (innocent, not "sleeping") the previous night just by touching my face. Once I was worn out and I brought my daughter to my job because one, I was worn after 3 months and two, she, being a good girl that she is, wants to help her dad out.

Yes I have a daughter, and no, she is not half country. (though I am surprised...) However, she looks EXACTLY like Yao. Imagine a chibi Yao whose personality is the complete opposite of the Yao. FYI, her name is also Yao, but unlike China, she absolutely **hates** hello kitty (heck, she wrote for her first grade goal "to destroy all monstrous hello kitties") and she is a boyish girl, unlike the girlish boy you all are familiar with. She also ties her hair in a ponytail and CAN'T COOK TO SAVE HER LIFE (but she is 14...today). Perhaps the only common trait they have is that they can break though things, but My daughter broke a wok with her bare hands when she was 6.

So she dresses up and goes to help me out. China sees her and immediately attempted to choke her while screaming "Kawaii aru". After getting my daughter out of this mess, I rolled my eyes as China's eyes turned into hearts. My daughter was alright as she managed to get her composure back, but took a toll when China asked in his cute little voice: "Shinatty, is this our child, aru?"

"..." Yeah, I think my daughter's scarred by now. I told China no, but China continued: "You never told me you could get pregnant, aru! I would have used a condom! call it... Anyway, What's her name, aru?"

"I'm Yao." Replied my daughter with her "WTF is daddy doing" face as China squeezed me with joy (joy?). "Oh my god, I can't believe we had a kid! Now we can really get married!"

By now Yao (my daughter) is beyond scarred. But to make things worse, _Japan_ showed up. When my daughter saw the murderous look on Japan's face, she immediately took a sharp breath. (Well at that time she was learning about the Nanking Massacre...) "Shinatty-_san_, who is this _child_ that looks like my _onii-chan_?" Now, Yao (My daughter. I'm going to use China for China from now on.) Don't know a word of Japanese, but she can deduce the meaning of Japan's words and immediately defended herself: "Don't worry, I'm only daddy's daughter to help him with his duties."

"Help... a _threesome_?" Japan said as his eyes widened. Yao pouted in confusion as she turned to China. China immediately blushed and scolded Japan: "Aiyah! She's my daughter, aru! That will be incest! aru!" A vein popped from Yao's head as she exploded. She was literally _burning in anger_ as she took it out on the next person she saw, who was Hong Kong, and threw him _out the window on _top of _a 52 floor building_. (well she did break a wok when she was 6)

That's why Hong Kong can never smile, so that's why I really try to be nice to him, since it has something to do with my daughter... Anyway, this is why I can't get out of this Freaking Stupid job.

**Wow this is long... Well anyway thank you for reading my fanfiction! I will be taking suggestions!**


	4. Chapter 4

**hello this is still Shinatty. i felt like writing this because i am bored and stressed and can't do my homework. i hope you enjoy this. I try not to involve sex this time because... I don't feel like abusing shinatty. Anyway, Enjoy!**

Hi, I am Shinatty, still the most hated animal. China is currently sulking next to me while giving me the "Why are you so mean to me?" look. You fangirls may have went "aww" while melting, and, to be honest, I melted a bit too. But if you know _why_ he is sulking, then... don't hate me...

As you know, his birthday is today. Many countries came to celebrate. I, as the "pet" of the house, was forced to attend. Not that I wouldn't celebrate my country's birthday anyway...

So, Japan and Taiwan worked together to make me an outfit. Yes, you heard right, _Japan and Taiwan_ are making an outfit for _me_. Being the (hopefully) rational creatures that you are, you can probably figure out my outfit: **A pink bikini with a hello kitty on my panty and cherries on my...bra (yes a bra). **I am freaked out because, despite being next to China for so many years, I greatly dislike wearing feminine clothing. When China saw me, he wasn't really happy. Being alive for 5000 years really give you a conservative view of the world, and he isn't really enthusiastic about me wearing a bikini. Even though he wanted me to wear a cheongsam (if you don't know what that is, look it up on google), Japan, Taiwan, Korea, Hong Kong, even _Macau_ agreed to the idea of my wearing a bikini. Macau even commented that I looked _adorable_.

At the party, I was wearing my... outfit with the Asian siblings smirking behind me. I made a mental note about destroying any photos taken at this moment as I felt a pair of hands snaking up behind me. Assuming it was China, I grabbed him and set him on my lap. It wasn't until I felt the hands trying to undo my bra I realize something is wrong. I looks down and it was _Poland. _He was having the time of his life untying my bikini and hugging me.

China saw this and immediately switched into "Become one with Mother China" mode. "Feliks, what the fucking shit are you doing to my property?" He growled, and I felt a cold sweat drizzle down my back. When mother China's mad, oh...

"Excuse me? This swimsuit is, like, totally cute! And this guy is, like, totally cute too!" Poland rebuked, "And if you cougar, like, don't get outta my way, Warsaw's going to, like, be your bloody capital in 5 minutes."

Now I'm really glad My daughter isn't here. I'm, like, listening to a fight between England and Romano right now.

"Oh yeah? Well that crap of a city ain't even as half as good as garbage." China snickered, and I noticed the Asian family getting ready to fight.

"My Warsaw is like a million times better than your shit of like a capital." Poland scoffed, and I saw the quiet Lithuania, Belarus (why is she here?) and Liechtenstein (I hope i spelled that right) getting the best collection of guns ready. Wait, Why the fuck does someone Lili's age has that many guns, and why the fuck is she fighting for _Poland_?

i don't want poland or my boss to die, so i went in between them. i declared: 'Stop this fighting, children, and be quiet." i was expecting the room to be quiet and everyone gazing at me with respect, but apparently it is hard to respect a guy in a hello kitty headpiece and pink bikinis. Hearing this, Both China and Poland bursted into tears. "Shinatty, do you really hate me?" China whimpered while clinging to me.

I was about to answer when Poland whimpered on the other side: "Am I, like, really that bad compared to the cougar? I really like your swimsuit..."

So I got two whimpering, crying, effeminate countries on my arms. They are clinging to me like little kids cling to their mother. It took me all my strength to not... _strangle_ them. What the heck is wrong with countries' taste of men? i was trying to struggle out of their grip when I saw the Asian family and the Poland supporters (look above) trying to murder each other. "I need to get out of this." I thought as I looked at the other countries.

I am terrified to say the least. England looks more than happy to join the fight. France is inching up China. Prussia and Germany are both drunker that a beer barrel. Russia...he's the only one that looks slightly discontented, because he don't want China to find out about his affair with Poland (Don't ask how the fuck I knew that)...

In order to get out of the grip, I tried to sneak away. For some reason the fighting forces then looked to attack me altogether. The China side: Japan, Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Mongolia, England, France, America, Ukraine (she's really just crying), Sealand (WTF is he doing here), Egypt, Turkey, and Greece (he's sleeping) and the Poland side: Vietnam (I thought she was china's sister) Lithuania, Belarus, Hungary, Liechtenstein (i thought her brother's always neutral), North and south Italy, Romania (I thought he was a vampire...) Norway, Denmark, Iceland are throwing random foods at me. I buried myself beneath China and Poland while the Neutral countries: Switzerland (surprise) Russia (WTF) Austria (playing the piano... where did he get the piano?) Sweden and Finland (making out).

So... the end result is me looking like a trashcan and China pouting like an idiot next to me.

**So, how did you like this? Sorry my grammar and spelling is off... Not a great writer... Reviews are appreciated and everyone who read this story get a big hug! \(^-^)/ (I just learned to do that!)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi guys so this time I feel like bringing up Shinatty's daughter again because she's a nice character to write and i am bored and writer blocked as hell. Hope you like my humble fanfiction!**

In case you were wandering how I knew that Russia is cheating on China with Poland... I'll tell you the story, but don't spit on me after it;

So the countries had a meeting. Normal, right? **NO!** Our definition of meeting is "Meet, sit, talk, get bored, end", but the countries' definition is "Meet, argue, throw hamburgers, make out, drink Beer/Vodka/Sake/Wine/Rubbing Alcohol/Blood (Romania), end meeting, go to bar, drink more, go to make out in some country's house" And that time, it unfortunately was China's house.

Okay That's cool. i'm used to it. But to make things worse Yao (my daughter, in case you don't remember) decided to sleep over in my room. While she was sleeping like a little angel, several contingents of countries (and micro-nations) began to head in. I counted the heads. There was **40** countries in China's house, and in the 40 countries, every single Asian sibling (excluding Macau...such a good kid). they distributed themselves throughout China's house and started...um... _that_. France, Germany, Prussia, Japan, _Sealand_ (Wtf is he here?) America, Lithuania, Greece, Holland, Scotland, Switzerland (talk about a bad older brother), Austria, Romania, Spain, Italy, Denmark, Norway, Turkey, Egypt, and India decided to have a messy and freakishly loud... twentysome? Well anyway, it was loud. It took place in the living room (which is right out my bedroom)

There are also several other groups, such as England, China, and Hong Kong (tea family incest?), Sweden and Finland (So loyal:) and all the female countries. It was a huge country sexfest, and I bet 80% of the fangirls will pay anything to be there. Well not a 40 year old man, _with a daughter sleeping by his side_. So being a good dad (Hey I'm a good dad!) I went to get a pair of earmuffs. When i went out, HOLY FUCKING SHIT EVERY COUNTRY IS NAKED AND PANTING AND **BEGGING** ME TO JOIN THEM! I went and got China's earmuffs, but... Yao already woke up. I did everything I can to keep yao inside, because I don't want my daughter to see a bunch of bloody lads eating each others faces off! Yao, being the incredibly smart lass she is, let go of the issue and went to bed again.

THEN, Russia and poland came in. And by in, I mean _in the room_. so two hot, drunken countries high on Vodka is making out in your room, what do you do? Pretend to sleep, especially when your 11 year old daughter is sleeping next to you. Well she woke up, and is horrified to found out two guys thrusting in and out of each other... And they were saying stuff like "I'm much better that that Liet guy, da?" "Mmmm...Yes, yes you are, ivan. I'm much tighter than that cougar, right?" "Cougar, you mean Yao? Heck Oh yeah..." Now, my daughter don't know what a 'cougar' is, but she is mentally scarred to hear her name spoken by two guys making out. And she decided to jump of her bed and be a hero (no reference intended), but... she slipped and fell between Russia and Poland. (FYI, her outfit now is her father's oversized t-shirt with nothing underneath... I regret that choice as a father) and you can see the lust in Russia and Poland's eyes, and i hear them whisper "hey, speak of the devil" "Should we have a threesome?"

WELL, NO ONE CAN RAPE MY DAUGHTER! I jumped out of the bed, snatched yao out of the countries' grasp, and thought of ways to get her out of her situation. But Yao decided to grab a waterpipe (where did she get that?) and slap Poland with it. Poland is apparently angry and tried to wrestle her, _naked_. Russia then joined in. I was scared! I don't want my daughter to die! But the next thing I realized, Yao is having both countries wimpering in pain. She proudly told me she kicked both of them in their &^%$*, and I...

I have a scary daughter, don't ask.

so she went to sleep (Htf did she do that?) and then we woke up. England yawned as he turned to my daughter: "That was good last night, China."

"..." I guess England just confused Yao (My daughter) with China. Yao decided to return; "Nah, not really'' (She later told me she thought England was a dude who calls all Chinese people China)

"Are you saying my technique wasn't good?"

"...what technique?"

"You know... my _that_?''

'' your what?' Wow yao is too pure for her age.

'' oh please, you know you dig my sexy brows.''

''Those brows? You mean those caterpillars above your eyes?''

England stared, and realized that he is talking to an 11 year old girl. "Well, sorry, lass. I don't know what i was talking about''

'' That's okay, Mr. ugly brows.'

And after that, I for some reason always feel someone's stalking me (a little flying rabbit, i would say) and I received a month's supply of... charcoal? So i burnt them and nearly killed Hong Kong... again. I sometimes really feel bad for that kid...

**So how did you like this? And if you guess what is stalking Shinatty at the end of the chapter I would write an entire chapter based on your suggestion or your comment! And thank you for reading this!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys sorry I'm having a really hard time keeping up my fanfiction. a chapter of That fateful day is really close to finished. but I barely have time to finish it. Anyway, hope you enjoy this!**

Hey guys… have any of you ever wondered why japan named yaoi.. well YAOI? Give you a hint: It has everything to do with YAO. (Yes I know this is a common joke among fangirls, but listen to what it actually means)

If you guys have any brains (which I hope you have), you'll realized that YAOI is YAO and I. Hmmm… I wonder why Japan named it that (hint:NICHU)… not! I can't deny that he's a really… I guess smart kid, he just uses it in a wrong way.

Why am I saying this? Well it's "Story Time with Shinatty the Kitty".

So One night, after China %^$#ed me, I went up to Kiku's room for some fresh underwear. Why do I go to _his_ room for underwear? First, the underwear smells really good (like ying hua (*cherry blossom in Chinese*) I would say), and second, I'm bloody running out of underwear because Mother China likes to rip the walls off before claiming your vital regions. I pick the locks and Voila! I'm in!

Well Kiku wasn't asleep. He was building this… robot, a really realistic robot that looks like China. I'm curious about what is the robot for. Maybe it was for a trick? Maybe he wanted a nicer Mother China that don't claim your vital regions every second? Yes I am pathetically trying to defend Japan, because I feel guilty for stealing his underwear everyday. (YES FANGIRLS I HAVE A HEART!)

So I stayed and observed what Kiku was doing. What I saw was Japan tucking in wires and typing on a computer, making an INCREDIBLY detailed robot modeling China. The hair, the eyes, the body shape... all so perfect.

After about an hour, Japan finished (I'm surprised he didn't kick me out yet... not that he even knows I'm here in the first place). I was thinking: Oh goody, FINALLY he's finished. My ass is sore from all the sitting!

Then I saw it, and yes, you fangirls probably guessed it right...

Japan softed murmured: "You are finally mine, dear _onii-chan,) _and STARTED LITERALLY HAVIN WITH THE INCREDIBLY REALISTIC MODEL OF CHINA! He even put a dress on...it! And after two hours (1 AM in the morning), Japan still wasn't satisfied, but the doll has more hickeys than a prostitute, and it looks like it has "milk" spilled ALL OVER IT (if you don't know what "milk is, read chapter 2). This entire time, Japan was saying things like "You are so beautiful" and "I love you so much, my dear Onii-chan." and _god_, the sound system... it's perfect. If China spoke _japanese _and Japan didn't spent about 2 hours making a bloody _clone. _

"Ni...Nihon aru!" Moaned out the clone (WTF JAPAN YOU ADDED THE ARU AS WELL?) "Please...more aru!"

"Still not satisfied, My dear _onii-chan_?" teased Japan, and then I decided to slip out of the room because 1st, I do _not_ need to watch another hour of XXXing and 2nd, my actual boss is throwing a temper tantrum (yes 1AM in the morning).

"Shinattee!" Winced China (the real one), "where are yoo? You left me right after..."

I honesty don't feel like listening to a 5000 year old ramble like my grandma about how I left him right after sex (rape), so I grabbed some duct tape and taped China's mouth shut.

Life is so much better when China doesn't talk, trust me.

The next day, I wake up and saw China sobbing. Knowing that crap is up, I took off the duct tape and asked what happened.

"You are so mean, Shinatty..." China whimpered with tears in his eyes. Then he decided to burst out in tears. Now, I feel really guilty for making him cry, but all sympathy vanished when I heard China call: "Taiwan, Hong Kong, Korea, Japan, Shinatty's abusing me!"

And in less than a nanosecond, the Asian siblings busted the door and started chasing me. they chased me for around 10 minutes before the majority of them gave up. Note, _Majority_.

Japan is still chasing me, and man, those ninja skills...

Skip forward, after Japan caught me and beat me into a bento box. When all the Asian siblings left for shopping, I went to Japan's room, and picked up the China clone. I need to get this thing away from me. _Now_.

So I went to a local auction and tried to sell it. (I had to explain several times that what I'm holding is a robot, not a prostitute). After a while I sold the robot to a funky looking guy with black bangs, sunglasses, and a really bad looking mustache. His name is... I think Ukik Adnoh... I know, Suspicious, but I'm just glad to get it out of my hands.

Fangirls, this is why Yaoi is called YAOI, because Japan is slightly incestuous.

**How do you like it? I might make an Asian sibling series just about Asian crack (sounds really wrong there). If you have any suggestion, comments, or wants to show sympathy for Shinatty, please feel free to post a comment. Thank you for reading my fanfiction!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ugh...busybusybusy! To save my brain from being deep fried, I wrote this. So Hungary sends Shinatty a huge bundle of Yaoi manga disguised as "boring" books... yeah. Thank you for reading my fanfiction!**

Dear Hungary:

Hi, Hungary. I really appreciate your effort of buying me such an expensive and _heavy_ gift for my birthday. After all, 1000 dollars' worth of Yaoi manga couldn't have been light to carry for a young girl like you for even I, a grown man, have trouble with the sheer weight of it. However, you see, my issue with the gift is not the weight, but more of _the content. _To be exact, the covers of the mangas. I'm pretty confident that no Manga artist would be idiotic enough to name their work **Holt McDougal Algebra I,Great Expectations, **or **SMARTBoard operating manual. **The best title I saw was **Sex for Dummies**_, _but I'm sure that the sex here is NOT 156 f***ing pages of Gay sex!

Perhaps a description (and I'm copying your note word for word here, Hungary) better than: "sTuddY maTERyal 4 ur nxt tst, Sinati-tan 8P" would have helped me understand the content of the gift better, Miss Hungary. And my problem with the note is not with the misleading info, NOT the terrible spelling, not even the fact that you spelled my name my name wrong, but... What do you mean "4 ur nxt tst"? I'm already a good 30 year out of college, and my dear China-xianggong (he forces me to call him that now...) does not give me time to "study"... he becomes one with me whenever he wants, and on an irregular schedule.

And by the way, is the book titled "Biomedical Engineering for Elementary Students" a doujinshi you drew of me and my dear China-xianggong (Ugh I'm sick or calling him that...)? Because all I can see is a chubby man that looks suspiciously like me with a hello kitty headwear being topped by a ponytailed man. If you did (and I'm sure you did), then I have to admire you for that, because it takes quite an amount of patience to draw 198 full-scaled pages of Yaoi sex and you will most likely face death threats from the Asians for drawing their precious onii-chan/aniki/gege with another man... especially me.

Oh, another thing. How am I supposed to F***ING react when my 11 year old daughter opens _Biomedical Engineering for Elementary Students_, reads every page of it, and asks for "study material"? And no, letting her "join the army of Yaoi fangirls" and filming my becoming one with Mother China is not an option, nor is taking her on a "field trip" to a world meeting. The best plan I can think of right now is whacking her head with a hammer and hoping she'd get amnesia, but 1st, I'm not doing that to my daughter, and 2nd, if I do that, my ex-wife will come and WHOOP MY ASS. (Yes I'm scared of my ex-wife!)

Please Reply

Shiyi Song (Or Shinatty-Chan)

**I probably won't write Hungary's reply to this, but if you guys really want me to I can... Comments, suggestion, and questions for Shinatty are welcome! Thank you for reading my humble fanfiction!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Lol suddenly had an idea and just had to write this. It's short, so don't expect a lot... thank you for reading this humble fanfiction**!

I just had a fight with my daughter. Over what? CLOTHES. You see, she got invited to this friend's home. You see, this "friend" happened to be a boy, which is the main reason I wanted her to wear a lovely red coat over a shiny black knee-length dress her mother bought her for new years, along with some fashionable boots to highlight her nice legs.

Sounds nice right? My daughter says no. She wants to wear the old baggy army jeans and t-shirt . She can be quite a tomboy at times, but for heck's sake... shes fourteen she has no interest in clothes whatsoever. As a responsible dad, i am worried... and I don't want her to be a tomboy her entire life.

So we had an argument. When i arrived at China's house, I thought "hey China's raised lots of kids, he must know how to deal with this." So I told him about my fight with my daughter.

"Aiyah that sounds troubling, aru." China said. Well it is. Then his eyes sparkled. "Hey Shinatty, do you know what the best way to solve any argument is?"

"Um...communication?" I replied, quizzed. How am I supposed to know? I am asking your advice for a reason, China...

"No, aru!" China's eyes are beaming now, "it's the make-up sex!"

"..."

"Seriously, aru! When my younger siblings were naughty, make-up sex always teaches them the lesson, aru! Just go to them, strip yours and their clothes and launch yourself on them!"

My mind just blanked out, refusing to hear about how "they will at first scream and yell, but then theh will enjoy it", and "how it also doubles as sex educations I don't know how long it's been until Hong Kong walked in.

Seeing him, China happily chirped: "Hong Kong, aru! Shinatty and I were just talking about the make-up sex! Tell him how it felt when you were first "punished"."

Hong Kong blushed deeply, and after a moment of silence, said four words.

"It hurts, a lot."

China them began smiling big time, and started saying how it's 100% effective, while I just made a mental note to myself to never ask about the Asian countries' childhood.

**yeah, I am a messed up bastard...hope no one is offended. I was reading c and h comics one day and saw this, and immediately thought of the Asians. Thank you for reading this fanfiction, and reviews, flames, and criticisms are greatly appreciated.**


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